I am a Witness to LOVE.
The Angel's Light is Entering the Scene (note if there had been a flash it would have reflected off of the stainless steel around the window- also note, that is not a sign to the left of the light)
The Angel's Light Opening to Receive the boy- Carried by Christ into the light
On Wednesday May 30, 2012 I was in the last train car of the Missouri River Runner, which had just left St. Louis and was headed to Jefferson City where my dear 18 yr. old son was going to pick me up. We had taken the train down for the first time in 22 years- so that I could return my son's car to Wisconsin for him, while he flew his new airplane home.
We expected no delays and a beautiful trip, even though that morning I had a quick premonition that we might hit a boy on our train ride. The thought was painful and felt so bad that I quickly dismissed it thinking- "what an awful thing to think". That thought later came back to challenge me, as exactly that situation occurred.
We were within minutes of arriving at the Kirkwood, Mo. station to drop off and pick up passengers when the train slowly came to a stop right in the middle of a wooded lush area. My husband, Todd, had just left my side with my iphone to photograph the back of the tracks. As I handed him my phone, I made sure to turn off the flash for him, knowing there was a window he'd have to shoot out of.
As the plain jerked still, I glanced out my side window to see the landscape and to try to calm the unsettled feeling I felt deep in my belly. It was at this moment I saw him- a beautiful young healthy boy lying in the grass as if he were taking an afternoon nap- except his body was badly injured and I knew something was terribly wrong. It took me a few seconds for my head to let heart receive what I was seeing, and then I jumped up.
The mother in me kicked into overdrive. At this moment my husband was returning saying, "Why is this train stopped?" at the same moment noticing the panic in my face as I interrupted him shouting, "The boy, we have to help the boy outside." And I ran.
I ran trying to find a way out to him. I ran looking for anyone who worked on that train to help. I couldn't find anyone, but I found a door open to the outside of the train just one car down. I leaned over and looked out to see at least a 6 ft-7ft jump down and I cursed my short legs and weak ankles- knowing I'd certainly break one if I lept.
I looked up and noticed an amtrack attendant was standing near him, not touching him, but with him. I shouted at him to do something but I could see by the shock on his face he didn't know what to do. I ran back to get my husband and on the way ran into a young black man who said, "I'm a nurse, can I help him?" I immediately drug him to the opening I had found and helped him out.
He ran to the boy and began talking to him, comforting him and trying to get him to respond. He did not.
Now, I looked with my gifts instead of the eyes of the mother. And I noticed his Soul light was gone- his body was there, taking it's last breaths, his heart was still beating, but he was gone. The police arrived, then the paramedics and they all dove in with their full effort trying to save him. But I knew he had already been saved, in a different way. I knew he had gone home to God. And my heart broke.
I ran back to my seat so I could be nearer to his body, praying out loud all the way back. Asking God to help everyone watching, everyone helping and most of all his dear sweet family who had no idea in this moment what was happening to their cherished child.
As I sat down and watched out the window, my husband said, "Do you want to go sit somewhere else so you don't have to see?" "No", I said softly, "I need to watch and be his witness because someday, someone who loves him will want to know" So, I stayed and I cried and I witnessed.
I witnessed his beauty, I felt his innocence, his kindness, the gift that this child was to all who loved him. It was all so palpable in the air, if you were open to feeling it. And, I was. I was there in that moment, being who I am, with all of my God given gifts to witness and love him for his mother, for his father, for everyone who loved him. Because they couldn't be.
I spoke to him in my heart, not knowing his name, but feeling his soul and it's light in my own. "I can feel that You were a gift to so many and you will be missed deeply."
The next morning came slow. My husband and I had spent much of the night crying, not for ourselves, but for his own mother and father and the precious gift they had lost. Our bodies were wracked from the journey and all of the emotions. It was all just a little too much to try to hold.
Todd asked me how I was and I shrugged my shoulders. "I dreamt about him last night, that sweet boy." he said. "He was playing guitar with Bob Marley." I smiled at him, thinking what a nice image to see.
Later that morning I looked at the pics on my phone and was shocked to see the two track photos with the lights on them. I showed them to Todd and said, "what are those lights? did you see them when you were shooting the pics?" "I have no idea" was his response.
We saw on the news report that he was a 14 year old boy, named Cameron Vennard and that he had been walking home from school on the tracks with his ipod in and didn't hear the train until the last second. So now we had a name to send our prayers to, and it made it even more painful to bear.
When I returned home to Wisconsin, I uploaded the pics into my computer and lo and behold we got a very clear view of the photos. We could not come up with a logical explanation for the lights and the mist with the light in the center of it.
"That light in the middle of that mist, looks exactly like how his body was laying" I whispered. I felt chills rush down my arms and I closed my eyes and prayed.
"What am I seeing?" I asked.
Hear is what I heard. "The first light is the Angel entering your dimension to receive him."
I noticed in the second picture that the light had tripled in size moved over to the left several feet and look like it had arms and a head of light now.
"The second photo shows Cam's spirit being carried into the light."
I asked, "what is the blue mist around his body?" and I was told, "Christ is carrying him."
I was a little confused as to how these lights would show up before his body had stopped breathing (remember the pics were taken immediately after the accident but not before his body died). At that question, I knew the Compassion and Mercy of God. Cam had been lifted out as soon as the accident happened, because his body was going to die. He had been lifted out and moved away from the drama and intense emotions of everyone, towards the light behind the train waiting to receive him. Christ had lifted him up and carried him home because there was no need for him to remain in that painful moment.
How beautiful, how healing this is to see and know, I thought. I need to share this miracle with others. I pray it will somehow reach his family or I will find a way to reach his family and send these pics to hime myself.
It was only a matter of hours, after posting the pics and story on facebook, that I was emailing the photos and my recounting to his mother's best friend who then hand delivered them to the family last night. Another miracle.
So today I share it with you- so that you may send prayers of comfort to his family, so that you may remember we are so deeply loved and even in tragedy we are carried home with dignity and in the arms of LOVE. I share it with you, so that you know we are always where we are meant to be and if we are open we can be an instrument of that LOVE's power to help another.
Thank you for witnessing me.