Hypertension & Honoring the Body's Voice
Recently I had my blood pressure taken and it was 128/86 !!! I was shocked and also, paradoxically, not so surprised.
I went home and sat with the information in meditation. It came to my attention that my "hypertension" was really inner anger. I couldn't immediately identify what I was angry about, but, when I found myself yelling at my son and my husband the next morning about having to micromanage their lives I witnessed myself. Yikes...... there's my anger and it's ugly today.
So, over the next few days the anger began to seep up from my blood vessels to my awareness. Lordy lordy, I'm seeing anger all over the place in small doses, adding up to a hell of a lot. So, it's boundary setting time again in my world. Time to pull the word NO back out of my pocket and use it.
I've also booked a trip to Mexico for JUST my husband and I- no kids. So what if that money could be used for "other" things like college money, or a car for my daughter. There's always gonna be something I could give my time, energy, or money to. But the question is, how do I give it to my own dreams and say "screw you" to the guilt? Well, I just do :)
'm admitting to myself the strangulation of my own pleasures and the taking care of others first, issues. (Damn, I thought I had mastered this! Here we go again) But, luckily, I've traveled this road many times. I know it's twists and turns, know where the potholes are and how to get where I need to go without getting lost. So, away I'll go, knowing full well how great it's gonna be when I get to my destination again.
Maybe that's why I keep taking this road? It feels so good when I arrive.