Monday, April 4, 2011

Time to fly

I found out in the last week that my son is moving away.... far away, 9 hours to be exact.  He is only 17 years old, but life's twists and turns have opened a path that he simply cannot refuse. It's time for me to let go and watch him "fly" literally.

Out of his boredom with school (he was a junior) he decided to play around on the computer system, which lead to his expulsion.  Yep, explusion, no more chances- you're outta here.  All our expectations for how his life would flow in the last two years of high school, prom, senior year, graduation- gone, in one day, all gone.

Once the shock and anger wore off, the question arrived, "How do we turn this into something good?"

God brought the answer, albeit an unexpected one.  Logan's dream is to be a pilot, he is 4 short hours away from taking his final check flight for his private pilot's license.  A dream he has been working on for 16 months now.  My father, who lives in southern Missouri is also a pilot and restores old airplanes.  So when he offered to give Logan a job fixing up airplanes and working towards his instrument certification, he chose to accept! 

It is bittersweet and confusing in some moments for me.  I go from elated and excited for the potential ahead for him- to walking past his room and feeling the edge of a pit of sadness I know I will need to visit soon enough.  My sweet boy is growing up and moving on.  Life has shoved him out of my nest a year before I was expecting it and I am numb.

I know when I make the long journey home, returning from delivering his things, I will begin to thaw.  I know my tears will flow and I will open my heart to all the other mothers in the world who, too, have had to let go.  Who have wished their son a life of dreams fulfilled, not knowing where the path ahead will truly lead, but trusting the force that guides them on it to watch over them.

I will be grateful that my son is not going off to war, that he will be surrounded by a family who loves him, that his opportunities will be more than he or I can even imagine right now.  I will find my way to peace, but for now, I will just be a mom who's letting go.








2 comments:

  1. Martina, the heart connection a mother has with their child is especially strong and I understand the emptynes. Logan is blessed with a loving mother & family and to be able to be with his extended family who also love him.  How few people in life get to experience this? What a wonderful environment you have created for him.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks so much Paul. Yes, I agree, Logan is deeply blessed by many many people who love him.
    You're a dear friend.

    ReplyDelete