Doubt can destroy

I am human... shit lord almighty how easily my life reminds me of that fact on a daily basis.  And, I discovered, uncovered, and awakened to a nasty little energy that needs to get it's ass out of my life once and for all- Doubt.

I did my first email mediumship reading this week.  I wanted to make myself more available and more easily priced for those who couldn't get into to see me or afford the longer time frame fee.  So, my enthusiasm came up with a great idea and I leapt right in- knowing darn well I could totally do it!

I did the reading and it flowed beautifully.  The guy even had me laughing most of the time.  I hit send and waited to hear the validation and joy for the connection (we all need validation and gratitude).  No such luck..... I waited several days and no response.

I began to fidget, worry that perhaps I had done a poor job and this person had no idea how to tell me this..... I began to doubt that I even should have offered email sessions in the first place.  Definite internal hang wringing and the desire to eliminate the service was creeping into me.  I was flooded with doubt.

So, I reached out and asked the client, how did I do?  Knowing I might not like the answer, but I have no desire to keep offering a service that may not be worth someone's investment.  And, I waited another two days with no response (cue cricket noises and pacing woman).

Then the email arrived, and I was scared to even read it.  " Geeze, it took so long she must have been working up the courage to tell me something" I thought to myself.  "Let's get this over with girlfriend."

As I opened the attached document and began to read through it, I was shocked and delighted by what I read.  She listed below each statement I had written, the matching evidence, and confirmed almost everything.  She explained to me that this had been an extremely recent passing at that my words had given huge peace to those she loved.

I felt tiny tears of joy welling up inside my eyes.  And then I thought to myself, W....T.......F.......

I thought back over all the misery I had allowed into my experience in the last few days, even my willingness to eliminate the service all together.  And all because of one thing.... DOUBT.

After I read the email, my guide Red Eagle leaned over and whispered into my mind, "Learn Anything?"

"Yes", I said out-loud. "That I have a lot to learn."

Then I sat down last night and listened to a video, by chance of course (not), about how we humans let doubt destroy so much of what we love and dream of doing.....and that the higher we evolve our consciousness and remember how loved we are by our Creator, the less we will doubt ourselves.

Now the week before last I would have told you flat out that  doubt isn't something I encounter very often.  I trust my intuition incredibly well..... or so I thought.  "Lucy, you got some splainin to do...."

I made a conscious decision to look back over so many moments when I felt doubt in my life and IT ALWAYS WORKED OUT.  I bet you know exactly what I'm talking about don't you...we all do.  And I looked at how damaging the energy of doubt had been to my mood and future excitement for things to come. I could find no good purpose for it and decided to make a deep change.

Doubt makes us distrust ourselves and chips away at our joy and self esteem.  And doubt is not something we are born with- which means it is unnatural for us.  And yet, most of us are plagued by it's sneeky presence.

So, I'm making this late Valentine's Promise of Self Love for myself and I encourage you to do the same.  When I realize that I have allowed the voice of Doubt to enter my heart and mind, I will recall this week (I saved the response) and I will CHOOSE to KNOW that ALL IS WELL and that most of all.... I TRUST MYSELF.

Want to join me in that promise to self?

Comments

  1. Yes, I am working on this myself and know first hand How I doubt many times, but usually is fine.
    Learning to trust my intuition is a hard one...I think it is my ego getting in the way.

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