Are you wishing for "NO DRAMA"

I was on a phone call with an old friend yesterday and she mentioned that she doesn't want any more "drama" in her life. DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR? Have you found yourself wishing for the same thing? saying the same words?

I bet you've said it before........ but let me offer you another thought.

When a client tells me they want "no more drama" in their life, what they are usually saying is that they want "no more conflict" or for things to be easy in their daily experience. Think about it- what are your really hoping for when you say, "no more drama"......

Are you saying, "I am tired of participating in these situations where there is difference of opinion" or perhaps, "I am tired of feeling the discomfort of things being in a state of change/chaos"

Now sometimes, as we all have experienced, the drama is not our shit to deal with- it's somebody else's drama. And in those moments, we can ask ourselves, "does this have anything to do with me? is there any opportunity for me to grow or offer love in this situation in a way that feels good to me?" If the answer is NO to all of those questions, well then- the opportunity for you is to stay neutral or walk away. (But be really sure before you walk away, that the answer is truly NO.)

If you are having any emotional reaction at all to the experience- you've got a gift in all this shit that's just for you. Best to get in there, sort through it, speak your truth, feel your feelings, talk it out, make the change, set the boundary- or whatever your inner guidance is asking you to be brave enough to act on. In other words, DIVE IN! Don't be afraid of getting your hands and heart messy with it! Find that pearl of wisdom, or grain of truth that was missing in your life in the midst of all this discomfort, irritation or pain. STRETCH beyond your comfort zone!!! Say the hard words- see the hard truth about yourself- FIND THE LOVE that was missing and bring it back home to yourself and the situation, as best as you can.

What I am enthusiastically reminding you of, is that "drama" is really your "catalyst for change". And change, is a part of life my friend. Change is a universal truth.

If you try to avoid it, you are going to miss out on a lot of growth opportunities- opportunities to become your most awakened, loving, authentic self.

Avoiders look like this (And we all have been avoiders before):

- The conversation makes you feel uncomfortable, but instead of saying how you really feel, you change the subject or end the conversation

- When someone brings up a challenging subject around you that is causing them pain, you try to divert the attention to what is positive instead of validating/mirroring their feelings back to them so they can feel loved/heard. These people will irritate you the most when you are an avoider.

- Friendships feel messy to you, so you keep them on the edge of your life, keep them surface level so you don't have to have the "hard conversations" with anyone.

- If a friendship gets "hard", you sneak out the back door, or run the other way never looking back.

- When someone wants to talk to you about a personal issue with you, you avoid their calls, emails, etc. and either act like all is well, or sadly disconnect and end the friendship without any resolutions.

I am in no way suggesting that you hang out with people who CHRONICALLY have chaos in their lives, those are deeper issues that need professional help that, as a friend, you aren't really qualified to deal with.

But I am suggesting, for those issues that come up from time to time in your life or your close friend's life that are uncomfortable, chaotic, emotionally challenging or energetically draining, you embrace the drama for the gift that it is.

A drama free life doesn't mean a successful life- it means a life of avoidance, a life of "safety" instead of growth. So the next time you find yourself saying you don't want anymore drama, try remembering instead: Our lives are a comedic drama played out on the stage of life. The only way to truly avoid the drama is to get off the stage- and fuck that, we are here to play our part fully. So get out there and embrace it all. And if you've played your part with passion and courage, you can plan on being exhausted when you exit stage right.